Earning Something from Writing...Daydream of an Indomitable Writer

I had never missed a month in the years I've been posting this blog. Until now. I overlooked January 2012. Shame on me. I've been painting. No excuse at all.

I am quite poor, you know, mostly as a result of traveling too much (internationally relocating too often, to be precise) and following my two other major raisons-d'etre - writing and painting. I am able to augment my meagre income with the occasional sale of humble artworks, but there is absolutely no financial gain from my (less humble) fiction. To date. Which leads me to my little dream of 'what if?', which rarely presents itself, but when it does, I indulge it.

What if I do sell one of my novels...even all of them (four so far)? How would this change my life? Being very equitable in my attitude to money, I'm not expecting to reap huge rewards. Why should A earn so much, compared with B's earning so little, for the same standard of work? So my theoretical advance from a publisher would be suitably undramatic. A few grand, ten or even twenty. Wouldn't that be nice? No expectations of six figures, which I think is a fantasy some cling to.

To be earning something from my writing would have to be the greatest thing in the world, even if it barely covered a mortgage. I rent at present. It makes me miserable. I am only truly happy owning my own home, even if a lot of it is co-owned by a bank.

Selling a book - whatever the print run - would be heaven. And I've started thinking about that scenario again. Jaded and disillusioned as I sometimes get about the industry, there is still this microscopic - no -  nano-hint of hope in my brain.

You're probably aware (if you've read my snippets before) that I have an agent. She was quite ill in 2011, but is well into recovery now, and actively trying to seduce editors into looking at her undoubtedly fat list of manuscripts. One of them is mine. I daydream about her dialogue with one of said editors..."You must read this one first," she says. "This one will blow your socks off," she says. "Don't look at another submission until you've read this," she says. Oh, and I just love how warmly she says it, and how the editor's eyes widen with anticipation. This then, she thinks, is the one we've been waiting for, to put this company back in the limelight.

I love my daydreams. For a while, I believe. We writers have to be the most optimistic people on the face of the earth. But you knew that.

It's now one year since I completed my last book. Enough is enough. This painting has to stop. It's a substitute for my real work. I hope I have better news next time.

"...Stay Drunk on Writing So Reality Cannot Destroy You."

Ray Bradbury said that, and I like it.

I do get drunk on writing. Painting isn't the same. I become a bit starchy, and frown a lot more, especially when my little treasures don't sell. Writing transports me. I resist returning to reality.

So I believe I will have to get back to that fifth book in the New Year. Which leads me to wonder why anyone else would be interested in that.

Before we all became so jaded about the publishing industry, there was such a sense of belonging and excitement reading writers' blogs. I was hungry to hear how others were doing, what their feelings were. (I also made a few new friends I've come to count on, some of whom are actually published.) But I believe there's been a distinct shift in thinking. It's tedious to hear, once more, that an agent hasn't been found, or that an agent was found but is finding the book a bit of a hard-sell. To sum up: nothing is happening. Who wants to read that on a regular basis? Masochists most of us are, but why make things worse?

People are split into two camps, it seems, judging by comments on other sites:

Those who love uplifting blogs, where the writer has just sold their first novel, and there's a mention of foreign rights, a TV movie, perhaps. And we know this blogger, don't we? Followed her all last year, didn't we? And now we can share in a little of the triumph.

And there are those who frankly enjoy a bit of misery. Hearing how terribly so-and-so was rejected, and how bitter he is about the whole process. Never going to write again. (Or worse, he's going to self-publish.) People so like reading this sort of thing, and it makes them feel less alone with their own frustrations, and possibly a whole lot better.

But blogs that are neither triumphant nor terribly, terribly poignant are just plain blah, let's face it.  And that's where mine is now. The only new thing  is that my agent (who has been in poor health) wrote that she is 'ready to get back in step and get this book (The Place of Dreams) sold, for heaven's sake!'

And so, in this last week of 2011, I wanted to let you know where my head is. I wanted to thank you for your readership and your comments over the past three years, despite the blahs. Oh, I've been gung-ho and rhapsodic at times, but Reality kicked in and now I need to re-immerse myself in the writing so that it can't destroy me.

My wish for all of us in 2012 is that we all get drunk together on our writing. And screw reality.

Thanks for the tip, Mr. Bradbury.

Christopher Buckley's Homage to Christopher Hitchens

Insightful and moving. Christopher Hitchens might have written it for himself.

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/newsdesk/2011/12/postscript-christopher-hitchens.html

Christopher Eric Hitchens (13 April 1949 – 15 December 2011)

Goodbye, Christopher.


We’ll miss you.



“We are all atheists about most of the gods humanity has ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further.”

- Richard Dawkins (1941-)

Why I'm Not Writing the Fifth Novel

Most of you know by now that I also paint. I've bored you often enough with the little frustrations that brings - I call it Creative Duality - but it was once far more than that.

When I was much younger, I wanted to be a serious jazz singer, and performed professionally a number of times, mostly in down-at-heel pubs. I didn't care for the road trips, or my audiences, for that matter. (And my mother wasn't too pleased with my career choice.) Perhaps if I had found that perfect little club, things would have been different. In any case, I am far too private to have enjoyed that life. My thought that I quite liked the idea of being an actor was also nipped in the bud around then. Public scrutiny isn't something I long for. (I've mentioned that before.) I can handle a blog, or one of  my books in a book store, but standing on a stage? Oh, my...very scary stuff.They say most of us fear public speaking (for me, just standing) almost more than death itself. When you're very young, you're supremely brave - witness my stint at singing. These days, I'm a total wallflower. I really don't want it any other way.

Then I decided it would be great to actually play jazz, and took up the flute. (I would be part of a group, and could hide behind the trombonist, couldn't I?) I wanted so much to be a professional musician, to be part of that life, both classical and jazz. Musicians are fascinating people, truly doing what they love. That only lasted until I ran out of money and couldn't pay my rent, so pawned the flute. I have another one now (after many years) but still can't play much on it, having forgotten the Haydn that I perfected at the conservatorium. Still I promised myself that I would dedicate a regular amount of my time to practice. So why does the flute case look so dusty?

But I always kept up with my painting and writing, dividing my time fairly equally. Now I find I can't do both. It occurs to me that when I paint, I create characters and scenes just as I do with my fiction. I have the bare bones of an idea as I sit down, and then let the thing develop. Exactly the way I am with my novel-writing.

I'm told that my syndrome (because along with the arts, I'm also obsessed with the environment, history, philosophy and world affairs) is called Polymathy. It's an ugly word. A classic Polymath is extremely clever, probably qualified in all the sciences, as well as able to compose and play memorable music, write poetry...possibly turning out the odd oil painting or two when he or she has a spare hour. So not having quite that much talent, or formal education, I guess I am a Generalist with Polymath leanings.

So this is an apology of sorts. I have done no writing. Painting almost a picture a day these last few weeks means I've no inclination to switch to the novel. I jump out of bed with the same excitement I usually have when I'm deep in a book, of course. Otherwise I'd stop doing it.

I have sold a painting. One lone painting. That's okay. That's one more than I've done with any of my books. (I've heard nothing from my agent for a couple of months.)

Just wanted to stop by. You know where I am. You can always check out my art blog link if you want to know what I'm up to.

Taking a Vacation from Writing. The Painting Urge is Back.

I'm feeling so much better about being here now. It took a long time to adjust. I did a lot of moaning and whining to my friends, who had absolutely no sympathy at all. Certainly the writing muse left me (although the protagonist from the next book continues to hint at possible situations, if I listen carefully during quiet moments), but it seems the painting genie is reemerging after a long absence. (Painting and Writing are close siblings after all, although perhaps yours is an only child.) I've bought a bunch of canvases and will be working on those this weekend. I felt the old excitement as I carried the canvases home from the store. What will the subject be? What will emerge? -- Much the same questions I ask myself when I begin a new book, really.

I know I am a better writer than painter. My artwork is naive, colorful, usually fun, but it doesn't have the spontaneity and assurance of my writing, and certainly doesn't require deep emotional intensity. Novels can be so gut-wrenching to write, can't they? I smile over my paintings, and laugh and cry over my novels.  If I were forced to choose, the writing would win.


It's spring here today. Odd, isn't it, if you're reading this in the Northern Hemisphere? I've been waiting for it just as restlessly as if I were back in Ontario, where I would watch for the first crocuses. Sadly, there are no crocuses in this garden, but swags of bottle brush blooms are about to burst forth and the Rainbow Lorikeets are eyeing them wistfully and smacking their beaks.

Perhaps -- where you are -- autumn is on its way. I envy you that. Fall truly is my favorite season. In the meantime, I'll enjoy this Aussie spring, knowing it will be quite unbearably hot in a matter of weeks. There, I'm still whining!

See you next time.

Space Shuttle Almanac

I don't often promote books. Of course, I publicize artists on my art blog, but I think this is a first in my writing notebook.

This mammoth, 1400-page, final edition of the Space Shuttle Almanac is co-authored by my son, Lee, so I'm allowed to be indulgent. I'm incredibly proud.

This is the description from the book, a twenty-year collaboration, I might add:

INTRODUCTION TO THE SPACE SHUTTLE ALMANAC

When the final sonic boom startled this author at KSC's Shuttle Landing Facility on 21 July 2011, and the orbiter Atlantis settled onto Runway 15 for the last time, the Space Shuttle Era quietly came to an end. With the final 'wheels stop' call, the magnificent orbiting machines would fly no more, sadly consigned to museums at KSC, Los Angeles and the Smithsonian.

As the saying goes, all good things come to an end - 'flames to dust' the shuttles are now permanently grounded. Critics have argued that the shuttle retirement was premature, that it should have continued in operation until commercial companies are able to pick up the slack of carrying cargo (and eventually astronaut crews) to the International Space Station. The arguments fell on deaf ears in Congress and in the Obama Administration, and the shuttle's fate was sealed.

The Final Edition of the Space Shuttle Almanac, on the other hand, is a celebration of 39 years of shuttle operational history as much as it is a final compilation of mission facts and figures, dates and times. Primary author Lee Brandon-Cremer has added an outstanding collection of images for every mission and every section to enhance the readers experience.

The Almanac's format is a digital version available as a download or on CD. This enhances the utility of the Almanac as a research tool and as a historical overview of three decades of shuttle flight operations. For the authors, the Space Shuttle Almanac has been a labour of love. It has been a 20 year commitment to document the large and small details of shuttle flights that always seemed to 'fall through the cracks' in standard shuttle histories and accounts. The authors hope that this Edition of the Space Shuttle Almanac will serve as a worthy tribute to the magnificent shuttle program.

Joel W. Powell & Lee Brandon-Cremer

August, 2011

The Incredible Patience of Writers

It takes a huge amount of patience to be a writer. It's a good thing, because those with less strength of commitment, less drive, simply won't finish a book in the first place, permitting a tiny window of opportunity for those of us who persevere.

But, along with the teeth-grinding, the frowning, the cursing, and the occasional weeping with sadness and joy --- the actual day-in, day-out writing -- you need patience for a whole lot more.  Finishing a book is almost easy in comparison with what's ahead.

I've already covered the research part of finding an agent. I've written dozens (a lot discarded) of queries, synopses, blurbs, and made sure I was personal enough with my emails to touch the heart of even the toughest agent. Stupidly, I now understand, I even thanked them when they sent me sharp, rote, rejections.

Getting an agent is a stupendous task. I don't care what you've read about it, that so-and-so found someone through a friend of a friend, or met someone at a writers' conference (I've never even been to one of those...), or had three frenzied agents plying a contract. In real life, in my life, it doesn't happen that way. It took me two years to find a good one.

But you plod on, try to stay optimistic, start on another book. Tell yourself that it will all come out right in the end. You have supreme patience. What choice do you have, after all?

I've heard from my agent at last. She tells me that The Place of Dreams is doing the rounds of editors as I write this. I'm grateful, of course, and a little awed by the idea, but I should be terribly excited too, shouldn't I? It's just that I've grown so used to the time involved in every aspect of this journey. I control the urge to whoop and holler about this new phase because each time I've even whispered a low 'Hurrah!" under my breath, I've had to wait so long for something else to happen. Had I been receiving a salary for the amount of hours I put in just on the agent-chase alone, I would be able to make a downpayment on a little cottage somewhere.

If an enthusiastic editor is found, the next hurdle will be the publisher's editorial board. How scary does that sound? I wonder how long they take? Finally, if they find it print-worthy, a book will be produced. I think this process could be upwards of a year or more.

I read somewhere that it takes, on average, three times the amount of time to publish a novel, as it takes to write it. My first manuscript was hanging around for a decade, but the time I spent on it -- the actual writing - was probably under two years. Therefore, if the above is true, it should take up to six years to get it published, assuming it has any sort of literary merit. Hmm. I finished the total re-write for it back in 2008. I still have another three years to go.

So, there, I've finished today's rant. I know you guys can take it. You're dedicated writers, right?

Remember that old song, 'Life Gets Tedious, Don't It?'  (The full lyrics are here. and Carson Robison sings it here. It's really, really old.)

Hound dog howling so forlorn
Laziest dawg that ever was born
He's howlin' 'cause he's settin' on a thorn
Just too tired to move over.

Well, I'm a bit like that dog. Life does get tedious, but I'm darned if I'm going to move off this painful thorn called Writing. I'll put up with it, but it's not from laziness; I simply have no choice. And I'll remain as patient as ever, even if I grumble about it from time to time.

Talk to you soon. Oh, and sorry for the forlorn howling.

With My Writing, It's Always About Place

It's been five months since I completed Uncharacteristic Behavior. It came as a rather a shock to me when I did the calculation. I honestly thought I would take a few weeks off and get straight into the next book, but it didn't happen. All I have are the opening few pages, a fairly strong outline, a clearly defined protagonist, but, critically, at least for me, no ending, and I don't even know where I'll set the story. Without these, it's impossible for me to be drawn deep into the work. I try to picture my heroine somewhere. Where? I peer throught the mists of my inadequate (at present) imagination to what? -- Canada? Wales (again)? Until I have the geography right, I have nothing to provide the backdrop. They say great actors don't find their characters until they are in costume. For me, with my writing, it's always about place.

It's an odd feeling. Perhaps you'll recognize it. I spend a lot of time thinking about the idea of the book as if I were trying to recapture a memory which doesn't quite reveal itself. It will come, I know. I just don't know when.

No news from my agent, and I'm sad about this now. She seems recovered and bright enough on her blog, but I'm too timid to ask again what's happening to The Place of Dreams.  Fancy that. Me.Timid. In everything else in my life I am certainly not that. Yet agents have this effect on me. So much for my little Boadicea avatar that I pop in here from time to time. What a sham that is. Of course, were I published, I'd be brandishing my figurative spear in quite a confrontational manner. I would, really.

So hang in there, if you're also experiencing the same kind of down time. We're such a resilient, patient lot, we writers. Who knows what August will bring?

In the meantime, there's so much real-life (if it were fiction, the script would be laughable) political drama out there. Once again, I've become a TV news junkie. And I never miss Jon Stewart. Got to keep it in perspective.

Oh, and I didn't get any magic dust so far, but tomorrow's another day.

Magic Dust, Anyone?

I would have posted sooner, but Blogger – once more – was having some problems. I would start afresh in WordPress, because I’m afraid Blogger is becoming unreliable, but I’m fond of the look of my blog, and familiar with the technical eccentricities. It took a lot of time to feel at home here, really, and a new blog site would take forever to feel comfortable with. So I remain faithful to Google’s Blogger – at least, for now.

June has been a difficult month for me. We all have those months. I know I’m not alone with this. The last few weeks haven't been fraught with worry or deep sadness – rather, a general malaise, old-fashioned blahs. I can't get my act together. I lack optimism. All of this could be because I can't seem to get warm. Me! Ex-Canada! It's winter here, which laughingly plays out at around 59 degrees Fahrenheit during the day...hardly frigid, but with no central heating and one small portable radiator in the living room, it isn't quite enough and I've resorted to blanket-swathing and staying close to that heat source. I certainly haven't felt like writing. My computer is in a particularly drafty area of the house.

I heard back from my agent, who's been in poor health. While I totally sympathize, it's so hard to accept being no further along with the editorial search. Part of me is concerned for her, poor girl, but the other part is growing impatient. No, that's not true. Impatience isn't really me. It's more like a kind of dull resignation. My agent still loves the book, of course. This is enough for me for now, but I wish I had better news for you, all the same.

In my current doldrums, my new book is now on the back burner until I'm resuscitated by either warmer weather, or a sprinkling of some kind of magic dust. I’ve worked on the manuscript sporadically, but can’t seem to control my distracted moods, and end up idly searching real estate sites, looking for that perfect house I dream of, both here and North America. (Would I really do that to my cats again?) I'll be all right. We all get a bit weird when we're cold. Come to think of it, I get even weirder when I'm too hot. Either way, when the writing mood comes, it will be out of the blue, with no advance planning. It would help if I could decide on the age of my protagonist, and also have confidence in that essential last line. The one I have isn’t doing it for me. You know I need that before I can plunge into the real writing.

But I do have some ideas for a few paintings. My friend, Squeakie Stone, in South Carolina, is doing so well with his art work, in all kinds of galleries, that his latest email gave me a boost. I now have two of his pictures on the wall, where they comfort me. I don’t usually have paintings on this blog, but wanted to share them with you.

I've been considering a return to painting for a while. I've even moved my antique desk near the patio doors, for the light. This desk was never meant to be used as an art table, but it's all I have at present, and will have to do (its 19th Century surface well-protected, of course). So, the work area is ready, and all I need are some canvases. Maybe next month. (It has to be more inspiring than this month.) Just hope my paints haven't dried out... I could even revive my art blog, once I’ve produced something. What a surprise that would be.

And there you have it. My irresolute life. I dislike this vaguely-vegetative Fran, and long for the enthusiastic one back. She’s around, but suffering delayed reaction at leaving Canada. She never learns. Snivelling about not knowing where to live…everyone should be so lucky.

If you know a good magic dust source, please advise. (They should accept PayPal.)